The Back Page
By Sue Ferguson
Shane and I love this time of the year. Nights are cool for sleeping, and although the days are getting shorter, they are temperate and the colours are beautiful. October is a month of homecomings, Thanksgiving, the Norfolk County Fair, the breast cancer awareness Run for the Cure, and for the kiddos the fun of trick or treating on Halloween. I have seen advertisements for the latest scary movies coming out. When I was a kid, I snuck out of my room and caught part of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie that my older brother was watching. For years I ended up having to sleep at the end of my parents bed on the floor from the trauma of seeing that movie and being so scared. Fear does terrible things to us. AI defines fear as “an unpleasant emotional response triggered by the perception of danger, threat, or harm, whether real or imagined.” There is a song by Zach Williams called “Fear is a Liar” where the chorus echoes that fear “takes your breath, stops you in your steps, robs you of your rest, and steals your happiness.” Fear and worry certainly does not add years to our lives. That is where our faith must come in.
I recently had an experience where my faith was tested by a fearful encounter that I really did not see coming. When I turned 50 I received a letter that I was to get a mammogram. I must tell you that since my experience with my late husband George, I am always afraid to go to any medical appointment for fear of bad news. Weird right? Doctors and medical tests exist to help us and prevent problems from happening. I left that letter on my desk and it ended up at the bottom of a pile of papers. Fast forward a year and a half and it resurfaced (although I knew exactly where it was all that time). I finally mustered up the courage to call and make an appointment at the hospital, and it actually wasn't that bad. Less than a week later I received a call to go back in have another mammogram and an ultrasound for another look. Now fear had really entered the room. After a few restless nights, I went back in for more testing. Waiting there in the little room after the mammogram for the doctor to read my results took me right back to all of those waiting rooms in Denver with George, but this time I was the patient and not the caregiver. Wouldn't you know God put a little old lady named Barbara just outside of that waiting room door. She was waiting for surgery to remove a lump in her breast. She said “I'm not afraid Sue. We are lucky they can treat this kind of cancer. Whatever happens it will be ok.”
She certainly eased my mind in that moment before I had to have the ultrasound. Everything turned out ok in the end and although I have to go back in 6 months, I feel now I have some armour. I have just a little glimpse into what so many women have been through. I am one of the lucky ones this time. That entire experience was a huge test of faith for me. I did a lot of praying and also felt the weight of fear in a way that I haven't felt in a long long time.
What are you afraid of? What keeps you up in the night? Fear of dying? Fear of loss, loneliness, pain, sickness, …? Whatever it is, give it to God. Surrender is difficult, but He will catch us when we are falling. I always tell the story of being in that waiting room in Denver right before we had to turn off the life support that was keeping George's body alive. God wrapped His love and comfort around me like a warm blanket and assured me I would be ok. You too will be ok, whatever the circumstance. Don't let your fears steal anything from you.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
(Philippians 4:6-7)
